OUTLINE
I. Introduction (general Information)
a) Who am I?
- Name
- Where and when I was born/age
II. Body
Paragraph 1: Likes and dislikes
a) Food
- What I like
- What I don´t like
- What I like
- What I dislike
- What I like to do
- What I don´t like to do
a) My vacation
- Hidalgo trip
- Last vacation
- Next vacation
- My birthday party
a) My job
b) My wants
c) My own family
III. Conclusion
a) Restate thesis
b) Restate each topic
c) Comments
d) Concluding sentence
buen outline
ResponderEliminarechale ganas
ResponderEliminarHello I did not want to be a rude person, but sorry.
ResponderEliminar1st Paragraph:
* take out "that is"
* I think that could be better that you write "My father lives with his new wife", "My mother works...", and instead of is working is "works" in the last sentence.
2nd Paragraph:
*take out "the" in mexican food and japanese
*by practicing
*"on the other one" I think that is In contrast
*Mentions which sports
*connecting information between 2nd paragrph and 3rd.
3rd Paragraph:
*fly instead of "flying"
*Conecting information 3rd paragraph and 4th.
4th Paragraph:
*it it unclear the idea of "it iss missing just two five months..."
*It's better "I want a band"
5th Paragraph:
*take out "that is"
*to finish instead of "finishing"
Conclusion:
*It could be better "I want you to know ...." because it is unnecessary all.
In general you wrote a good essay and you follow the outline.